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The Impact of Toxic Relationships

Updated: Jul 30, 2019


Hey lovely ladies!!!


I hope you all had an exceptional week and that you are living out purpose in all that you do. This is another transparency post that I feel all of us can completely relate to and share so many words of wisdom to help our fellow sisters along their journey. When we often mention purpose we automatically equate it to our careers or accolades. However, Purpose goes beyond your profession. It's imperative to be intentional on your relations with others whether the connection is through your career or a personal relationship. So I want you to just close your eyes for a moment and whatever anxiety or worry you have about an issue or circumstance just release it and allow peace to replace every doubt. I really want you to gravitate to the words I am about to share because I believe it will bless you mightily. Wonderful! Now that we are all relaxed let's just dive in to this relationship segment.

Reflecting over my life I realized relationships and friendships played a pivotal part in my progression. The healthy and unhealthy connections I had with others challenged my character and assisted in my maturation. When we grow as women the wounds we receive from toxic relationships are painful, but eventually healing intercedes when we realize the source of our sadness. Through the healing process you begin to contemplate the dynamic of your scars and analyze what the cause and effect may be. Let's be honest here I am sure all of us at one point were associated with a person who seemed to oppress us more than uplift us. Frequently we tend to be blinded by their faults to the point we do not realize how destructive they are towards are destiny.

I see so many times young women who enter relationships to seek unconditional love they never experienced in their adolescent years. Due to not recognizing what genuine compassion looks like they end up settling for a malignant person. Now the exploration for love has turned into self hate. I know in today's time social media is very persuasive with having “relationship goals” so we have this notion that being single or alone is a negative connotation. In actuality if we were knowledgeable about how detrimental it is to connect yourself with people who are toxic we would guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23) and be intentional about who we give invitations to regarding our precious lives.

Judges 16:4-22 shares a story about Samson who fell in love with a woman named Delilah. Delilah was approached by the rulers of the philistines and instructed to entice Samson so they would be able to captivate him. If she followed their commands she would receive 1100 pieces of silver from each one of them. So Delilah asked Samson three various times what makes him strong and how can he be constrained securely. Each of those three times he would lie to her about his strength and how he can be tied up. She would then create a plot so the philistines could hide in her room and trap him. He would break free from them every time. Unfortunately, during the fourth time he finally gave in to her nagging and revealed his strength which caused him to be held captive by the philistines and eventually die.

God lead me to this story when discussing unhealthy relationships because it is a great exemplar of the patterns of a toxic person. Samson was anointed and the hand of God was all over him. However, he fell in love with a person who chose wealth over loyalty. In the relationship Delilah continuously sought to place him in a vulnerable position to be exposed to infliction by his enemies. Unaware of her hearts motives, he continuously allowed her to place him in a state of susceptibility and his discernment decreased to the point he became blinded literally and figuratively. How many times do we allow our attachment to someone to detach us from reality? Figuratively speaking How many times have we been placed in prison due to an exploitation of our weakness in a relationship or friendship? I genuinely want you to answer these questions ladies because often times we have repetitive issues circulate in unhealthy relationships. Instead of separating ourselves from toxic people we allow them to constantly drain us to the point we are left defenseless.

The enemy’s priority is to keep you fragile so you won't be able to fight. He views your strength as a threat to his plans. So his occupation is to allow those strengths to alter into weaknesses. However, I am here to declare that every plot, scheme, wile , attempted assassination on your character has been revoked never to be returned again. Sis I have been where you are, completely broken to the point where my identity was buried because of the emotional bruises I received from friendships and relationships. During the period of me being delicate from brokenness, God came in and displayed to me my beauty. Ever since I had an encounter with him my life has never been the same. No matter the hardships I may still experience, the peace he gives surpasses every trial. So I am here to let you know to pick up your face look in the mirror and just start speaking words of life over yourself right now. I know its hard but it's time to win back your mind and walk in the confidence of God knowing you deserve true unconditional love that only God can provide.

My prayer for you is that God exposes every scheme conspired to annihilate your anointing. I pray right now in the mighty name of Jesus, God will ignite his strength inside of you to fight against every distraction that is disguising itself in a relationship to destroy your destiny. You will win and conquer over the devil. I also pray that God will protect your heart and orchestrate ordained relationships that will pour life into you and assist you in your growth.

Until next time, I hope this will encourage you to remove yourself from toxic people who are stunting your growth. I also hope this has allowed you to look at farewells in a different perspective. Find the beauty in saying goodbye to everything that has been holding up unnecessary space.I love you ladies and be blessed.


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